Dedication or obsession?

 A quote "obsession is what lazy people call dedication" been popping up on Facebook, Twitter etc.

It got me thinking.

I always knew that I am extremely dedicated to fitness and diet even to the point of obsession, so where is the line between dedication and obsession and is there one?

The dictionary definition of obsessed reads:

–verb (used with object)
1.
to dominate or preoccupy the thoughts, feelings, or desires of (a person); beset, trouble, or haunt persistently or abnormally: Suspicion obsessed him.

–verb (used without object)
2.
to think about something unceasingly or persistently; dwell obsessively upon something.

The connotation is negative, where 'dedication' is positive.

So can one say that as long as the obsession is beneficial to one's life, it is more likely to be dedication?

At the end of the day, it does not matter what we name it, what matters is how it affects our lives.

So how my obsession with fitness, gym, diet, macro management and body fat levels affect my life?

I have to admit, I wish I was more relaxed about training and food. I wish I could go to the restaurant and pick from the menu something I really fancy instead of what "is good for me" and for once have that naughty dessert without feeling guilty. I wish I didn't pick up and put down a package of food after reading nutritional label because "it's too dense in calories or fat or carbs". I wish I could stop looking at food as grams of protein, carbs and fat and stop counting. I wish my holiday planning was not around hotel fitness facilities. I wish I could just have a 'duvet day' and miss one day at the gym because I am a logical girl and I know that one day off will not make any difference, quite the opposite, rest days are beneficial. I wish I could...

For the above reasons, I do think that my 'dedication' is bordering on the 'obsession' but at the same time I don't think I would want to have it any other way, so maybe I should work on having some balance where my obsession becomes dedication...

K xx

Diet, micronutrient management and bulking intentions

Today I was thinking that it is time to re-evaluate my diet and training.

One of my New Year's resolutions was to reverse diet into bulking starting as of 1st of Jan but so far I have done little about it. Excuses, excuses... Why? Fear of fat gains.

As a former fatty I have been on restricted calorie diet since... well, for the past 15 years... 

At the moment I am sitting at 104lbs being 5'4'' at 1850-1900 calorie limit and I have been sitting at this weight since forever. Spinning the wheels and getting nowhere, at least nowhere where I would like to be.

For the past 6-7 years I have been fascinated with bodybuilding and Dana Linn Bailey is my icon.

There are a lot of speculations all over the internet that Dana may not be natural and achieved her body with some "help" but who cares? I don't. I love her look - lean and mean :) And I certainly believe that it is achievable naturally through dedication and hard work.
I thought I was happy with my own body - finally I have striated shoulders, very visible muscle separation and vein-y abs but then I had a shock - a snapshot of my back during my Vegas visit last November.

I knew I could do with putting some more muscle on but this is scary lean and under-muscled! I think I finally realised how tiny I am.  I need at least 10-15lbs of lean mass on me to be anywhere near Dana's physique...

So what's my plan?

I believe in body adaptation to prolonged dieting and low calorie levels, that is why my daily ingestion of 1850-1900 for so long keeps me at the weight I am and with my activity levels and busy life I believe that my maintenance should be 2200-2300 calories a day and my Bodymedia confirms it.

So the plans is to slowly reverse diet to what is meant to be my maintenance level, keep there for few weeks and then go on a slow bulk. I need to stick to my resulotion. No excuses this time! Not tomorrow, not from Monday - from today I will raise my calories by 100 and keep there for 2 weeks:

1950 calories
160-180g of protein
50-60g of fats
the rest carbohydrates

Am I scared? Yes... I know that there cannot be muscle gains without fat gains eating above maintenance but I am not looking forward to it.

I am scared of losing muscle defition, I am scared to go up in clothes size, I am scared of the scales but I think I came to the point where I am more scared of continuing to spin the wheels and not get anywhere, so I got to grow some balls and go for it.

I might be scared of all above but I am also looking forward to the benefits of slow bulk:

Increased metabolic rate
Strength gains
Better gym performance
More energy
Lots of good food :)

Wish me luck!

Welcome to my brand new blog!

Who am I and what is this blog about?

I am girl who lives in London with 9-5 office job... Ok, boring stuff out of the way.

Start again.

I am an absolute fitness freak obsessed about food - I live, breath and dream about it.

The idea behind this blog is to share my passion for gym, bodybuilding, powerlifting, high protein diet as well as my obsession with food, new recipes and chocolate... Yes, I have insatiable sweet tooth. Not a day goes by without some sweet edition to my diet.

I am hoping to fill this blog with write ups about my training, diet, recipes and general life musings.


K xxx